Planning a wedding is not easy. Planning a wedding when you’re at risk for potentially hurting the feelings of your guests is even harder! While developing the dreaded guest list, many brides and grooms have to make the decision about whether or not to include a +1, better known as the “& guest.” Normally, this is decision based on budget, however, the bride and groom also have every right to just say no to inviting plus ones to their wedding that they really don’t know.
However, if you do decide to opt out of theÂ “& guest” option, you will likely need to be prepared to handle the “& guest” RSVP you’ll receive down the road. No joke here! While many people are quite familiar with the etiquette of wedding responses, you will almost certainly have a guest (or two, or four) who still believe they are entitled to bring a guest. I’m not talking close family here, I’m talking about the long lost cousin or friend who JUST started dating a new guy last week.
This is where a list of prepared responses will come in handy. Examples (feel free to use):
- “We’re so sorry, we’re trying to stick to budget and have already finalized our guest list, but we’ll let you know closer to the date if we have some extra room for your new guy!”
- “We’d love to meet your new boyfriend, but we’re really limited on space for the reception. He’s more than welcome to come to the wedding ceremony though!
- “We’re so excited that you are able to make it to the wedding, however we’re not able to allow everyone a guest. We’ve limited it to husbands, wives and fiances only.”
Always be sure to express your sincere regrets for not being able to allow a date for a guest, when applicable. I know that for most people it’s not that you absolutely want your friend or cousin to come alone to your wedding. It’s just that most people don’t have an unlimited amount of cash (or space) to allow everyone’s boyfriend, girlfriend, close friend, etc.
In the end, you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. But you do want to be reasonable and you should expect the same from your guests. When in doubt, just be upfront and honest…I think in the end it will be appreciated!
Happy planning! Cheers!
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